Psychology has written extensively about different pathologies, mental illnesses, symptoms, manuals and protocols for making good diagnoses.
Most books explain the most common difficulties and how to address them.
Little has been written about success and well-being.
After many years working as a psychotherapist, I decided to investigate what happens between patient and therapist when therapy succeeds.
Beyond any technique, there is a magic that occurs in every process of psychological healing.
Our body can heal many illnesses by itself when we provide the right conditions, such as good nutrition, adequate rest, relaxation or movement.
Our psyche also has this capacity and, like the body, needs the right conditions for it to come into play.
One NLP premise is that we all have the resources we need.
Part of our skill as therapists is helping people learn to use these resources correctly.
To begin working, building rapport is essential: tuning in to our clients.
Watching and listening to the person before us, putting ourselves in their place while also seeing them from outside. Entering their world so we can then help and guide them towards feeling well and in harmony.
The therapist's trust in the patient is very important.
Likewise, people who consult me and trust they will move forward and solve their problems always manage to do so.
In quantum physics, unlike traditional physics, it has been shown that the observer in an experiment is not neutral. The observer's emotions, thoughts and opinions lead to different experimental results.
The same happens in human relationships.
For example, when someone trusts that I can help, I know it will happen.
Sometimes it happens immediately, sometimes after a few sessions. A moment comes when I find a way to help that person achieve their goals or begin to feel better.
By contrast, someone who doubts therapy and is distrustful finds it harder to move forward.
Their thoughts and emotions revolve around doubt and distrust rather than how to move forward.
These people begin to improve only when they move from doubt to letting go and trusting the therapeutic process.
Similarly, as therapists, trusting that the other person will recover and achieve what they came to therapy for opens the way.
Another aspect of the therapist's confidence is not fearing what the patient describes or experiences. When therapists become frightened by their patient's difficulties, they freeze and cannot act.
By remaining calm, we automatically inspire confidence in the other person.
Through acceptance and inner peace, we therapists act as mirrors for our clients.
When we trust someone, we inadvertently help them learn to trust themselves.
To do this, therapists need to have worked through their own fears and to trust themselves deeply.
We can give only what we have learned.
Another important aspect is continuing to work with someone when they feel well.
This is the best moment: we discover many resources and great inner richness. Our client will find greater well-being than initially intended, and the goals formulated from this state will be better and easier to achieve.
Working from well-being, we will reach excellence.
In Neuro-Linguistic Programming, therapy focuses on finding solutions rather than on problems. When these conditions are met, therapy automatically becomes successful.
Mónica Lewin, Licensed Psychologist
Psychologist, Neuro-Linguistic Programming trainer, international coach and Gestalt therapist.
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